Some things on my mind...

I realize now that I have really wasted the opportunity to be honest with myself; this blog was going to be a candid glimpse into my mind, my thoughts, my opinions about things. When I spoke up about having a blog, I realized that some of the people that I mentioned it to might not like some of the things that I have to say, so I quit. I just did not make or take the time to use this tool to let out some of the thoughts that have been nagging at me. Well, no more. Some the people that I have met in the last -almost- two years since we moved to Granite City have come to be some of my most favorite people. Godly, honest, genuinely decent people that have already taught me a lot about standing up for what I believe.
I am remebering the old days, my "baby days" when I figured out that the best way to feel supported about my parenting style was to seek out other like-minded people. Mothering became the first thing that I ever felt completely confident about. I researched breastfeeding, I make tons of preparations, I was ready to go. One comment-ONE- from a strong opinioned brother of mine really put me on the defensive. "Well, you know, some women just can't breast feed, so don't be disappointed if..." Oh really?? Just WATCH me! My daughter and I got off to a slow start in the hospital--only 24 hours then! But after we came home and we could just do our own thing, nurse on demand, offer a nursing when she seemed to need it, things got going pretty well. I felt really good about how things were going. Then, the colic began. I felt so rejected when even nursing would not comfort her. So I sought out La Leche League. There I found so much information, so much comfort, so much support! By the second or third meeting, I had friends that would gladly take my fussy baby so I could just get a drink and go to the bathroom!
As time passed and my baby grew and thrived, and showed such a happy personality, I was restored! I had made the right choice! I could listen to my baby and give the right answer! My confidence soared!
But times of doubt have recurred. Outside influences try to steer me away from what I know is right, what I know is true. So it is time to stand up for myself, speak my mind, and be honest and true about my beliefs-- and my questions.
If anyone out there has a response or a comment, bring it on! It is easier to be frank and bold when not facing each other. I don't even remember now who knows about this spot, but knowing that there is some place out there where I can blow off some steam once in a while already makes me feel better!